Speaking Peter

If you want to learn to speak fluent Peter here are a few pointers that you may find helpful.

First, it's important to begin by focusing on your B's, D's, and G's.  You'll use them a lot.  Here are a few examples:

Peter:  Deter
Milk:  Gek  (still his favourite drink)
Truck:  Guk  (he loves watching for trucks out of the window, especially the garbage truck)

Bump:  Bup

Uh-oh:  Bu-po

Raisins:  Dai-sehs

Computer:  Dooter
Dessert:  Dert
Please:  Ease
Thank-you:  Dee-doo
La-dee-doo (a word adopted from Noni meaning any kind of physical mis-hap, as in "climb down from that table before you do a la-dee-doo"):  A-dee-doo

Always use the person's name when thanking them, i.e. Dee-Doo Daddy, Dee-Doo Mommy, and (my personal favourite) Dee-Doo Ed-et.

Sentences are short, to the point, and sometimes repeated with a slight variation on a single theme:  Wheh Daddy, Mommy?  Wheh Ed-et, Mommy?  Wheh Me, Mommy? 

When the lines of communication break down, quickly resort to an ear-splitting scream or obnoxious yell.  This will not restore communication, but you might find it somewhat cathartic.  Unless it gets you some alone time in another room, which it may.

And, above all, you must be prepared to adapt to changes in this rapidly evolving dialect.

Good luck.